Pleasure Parties

Since 1981 I’ve had a blast presenting and explaining erotica at pleasure parties. I've had my fair share of adventures and met some of the funniest, most outrageous characters imaginable.

Uninformed or misinformed, these individuals represent the mere tip of America’s sexual iceberg when it comes to understanding and incorporating sexual pleasure into their lives.

Whenever I recall these pleasure parties, I instantly smile. I hope that by sharing them with you, you will do the same. Sometimes we laughed so hard, we let the wall of fear or judgement melt away. Hang-ups were temporarily forgotten, allowing the women to share these moments of comraderie.

Fortunately, since I take my own advice and practice Kegel exercises often, laughing almost to tears has never caused me to pee on myself.

Most of the guests at pleasure parties are down to earth individuals who attend the gathering not expecting much. It is my nature to always give them more than they ever expected, had they expected anything.

Of course, not all groups are alike. Effective communication is the key to satisfaction on all fronts. I love laughter and keeping things light. Thus, I use the appropriate language and humor to fit each group.

Being that we don’t all hear discussions of sex with the same ease, I adjust my language to suit the guests.

For example, with a semi-conservative group, I'd use humorous anecdotes and appropriate mannerisms to help them relax. A large, boisterous crowd doesn’t need to be entertained. They're entertaining themselves. For them, I'd reserve my humor, and let them have their own fun.

Unless I've met my hostess at previous pleasure parties, I’m never really sure what her personality or temperament is. Since I can relate in one way, shape or form, I usually find common ground with every hostess.

Getting along, if only for a few hours, is not too difficult. There have been a few disappointments, but those were the exceptions, not the rule. Most hostesses are very hospitable, supplying me with whatever I need so I'll feel welcome in their home.

If this is our first meeting, I listen carefully to the chatter during my set up. This gives me clues to their sexual sensibilities.

Are they loud, rowdy, beer swigging types or quiet as church mice? Does their apparel suggest that they are reserved or hot mammas? Are there any Lesbians in the group? Is this a lesbian party? Are the majority married, divorced, engaged or happily single?

Determining their ages and interests really helps me zero in on their needs. Does the diversity of ages represent family and friends, or just friends? Are they mostly co-workers or have they known each other for many years?

Have they admitted that they like sex? Or is sex merely a way to get what they want? This is all revealed during the time I'm setting up. Since my main goal is to feature relevant products and ideas specifically for each group, understanding the group’s dynamics is crucial.

Since I grew up in Newark, NJ, I learned many different dialects. Having travelled the world, my language skills serve me well. I can change my approach and language depending on the group’s location and level of education. I neither talk down or up to anyone. Everyone gets the respect they deserve.

In my early days of presenting erotica at pleasure parties I modeled myself partly after a Human Sexuality professor and partly after the comedienne, Joan Rivers, (can we talk?) so my language was decisively clean. I dressed in business suits, wore just enough make-up to look respectable and had my hair perfectly coifed. I wanted to look like the picture of respectability.

The more pleasure parties I did, though, the more I realized that a slip of the tongue into street language was greeted with laughter and helped everyone feel more comfortable with me. I started relaxing my conservative approach and today my presentation has been described as blunt, to the point, and even juicy.

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