Pleasure Sex
We no longer live in the stone ages where we had sex to keep our species going. In this world of overpopulation, if anything, we need to stifle our ego’s need to procreate, and enjoy pleasure sex for its other undeniable benefits. The problem with pursuing sex as pleasurable is that deeply ingrained in many societies we believe that sex, in general, is the devil’s playground. If you can admit you enjoy the pleasures of the flesh, then, in Puritan based circles, you are the devil incarnate--or at least deviant and dirty. Take your choice. None of the labels given to those who enjoy sex are positive. For them, you may need sex, but you’re not supposed to enjoy it. Because we fear our sexuality, we’ve done our best to stop enjoying sex as a healthy outlet, by concentrating our attentions on promoting its negative effects on our society. In our desire to stop the spread of disease and unwanted pregnancies, we’ve lumped all sex in one category, as something to be feared and controlled. That cannot be a healthy mindset for our sexual appetite. What happens between two individuals who love each other and are acting responsibly toward each other cannot be lumped in with the blind desire that lust creates. Lust cannot be tamed. It can only be addressed and acknowledged for its influence in our carnal desires. As long as we deny our need for sex, we’re going to have problems controlling our lust. And as long as we ignore that monogamy is not the natural sexual state, we’re going to have troubled being satisfied by one partner. For us to find satisfaction with one sexual partner, we must incorporate our imagination and creativity into the sexual act to make the one seem like many. Feral man is designed to spread his seed around as much as possible. Men have always been hard-wired to want sex with as many women as possible. To compensate for this natural lust, we’ve designed contrary laws to compensate for our animalistic need for variety, all the while attempting to sell monogamy as the blessed way of living. With monogamy as the acceptable role model for coupling, shouldn’t we encourage pleasurable sex as an important part of it? Pleasure sex can only be had when you incorporate your imagination. When you leave creative thought out of your desire, instead of having mentally exciting sex, you’re having basic, animalistic sex. For procreation, basic sex is all that is necessary. You don’t need to do anything fancy, and the woman does not need to have an orgasm. In fact, sex without imagination is the stuff cave men did. Because it was so one-sided and single minded, its potential for pleasure was not shared. But today, as civilized, informed beings, shouldn’t our sexual attitudes also evolve? Isn’t sharing pleasure what we want when we make love to each other? Pleasure sex is best when the partners know and care, even in the smallest way, about their partners’ needs. Well-intentioned lovers stay together because they want to share life’s joys, sexually and otherwise. In a sexually honest relationship, the individuals have the opportunity to grow together, increasing their potential and opportunities for pleasure. Over time, discovering and revealing their sexual selves slowly, lovingly, with thought and care, they plan for their moments together to be exciting, satisfying and fun. That is, for pleasure sex to be achieved, thought and consideration are the necessary ingredients that add depth to the union. And for that pleasure to be achieved, they realize that it comes not from what they’re getting, but for what they want to give to the relationship.
|
