Sensual Domination

Sensual domination is a controversial form of sex play. Since domination has had the reputation of something we’ve been trying to overcome, the modern man and woman sometimes find it difficult to accept that it can be an exciting journey of erotic foreplay.

Sensual domination is sex play in which consenting partners agree to temporarily assume or relinquish control for the purpose of shared sexual pleasure. This erotic power exchange goes by many names, including BD/SM. Some of the myths that surround it are that it is violent, abusive, dangerous, exploitative and addictive.



If done properly, it is for mutual pleasure of the dominant and the submissive with sexual stimulation as the goal.

Its shared pleasure comes from the sensual freedom brought about by sharing and setting limits, and communicating willingness to give up or take control for a brief time.

The balance between rewards and incentives is part of the excitement.

The submissive does something that feels good to the dominant and gets rewarded with pleasure.

Crucial to this balance is to discuss ahead of time what you like and absolutely do not like so that your boundaries can be respected.



Each person is responsible for knowing their own boundaries and communicating those boundaries to the other. It is very important for the partners to stick to the agreed upon limits.

Consent comes out of a shared intent. Trust is the most important element of sensual domination. You can’t let your ‘hair down’ and allow total control to another if you don’t trust them.

This willingness to please and be pleased is part of the fun.

To keep this kind of foreplay exciting, fun and ultimately safe, a Safeword is agreed upon ahead of time.

This Safeword stops the action immediately if the stimulation has gone too far or hurts.


Creating a sensual game and its context is crucial.

Choose a sensual fantasy such as doctor/patient, teacher/student, master/slave, police officer/speeder, and include the props, costuming and techniques that bring it to life.

In creating this kind of sensual enjoyment, it is important to have an open mind and a desire to please and be pleased.

Sometimes a collar is used. The collar reminds the submissive of their agreement to temporarily relinquish control.

It reminds the dominant of their responsibility to keep the submissive safe.

Other times nipple clips, a soft flogger, hand cuffs, a feather or vibrator are used, all with mixed stimulation and pleasurable distractions in mind.

Watch body language for cues on what feels good, what area needs attention. 

Don’t be afraid to let your enjoyment show.

But even without the props, mental bondage is just as effective and a lot more versatile.



Stopping and starting the stimulation can raise sexual energy to a manageable level for extended sexual play. One of the sensual essentials to this erotic and sensual escape is to take your time. Allow each sensation to develop fully. For every smack on the butt, have a pull and a tug of the skin. It stimulates everything so nicely.


The fun for the dominant is that they take control, giving instructions to the submissive, and set the pace for pleasure, letting the submissive know exactly what they want.

It feels sexy and strong to embrace this part of your sexuality. Theirs is a wonderful opportunity to fully enjoy a delightful, creative sexual escapade with a willing submissive.

The fun for the submissive is submitting to the desires and pleasures of their own body and relying on the dominant to produce them.

Sensual domination is an exciting way to bring new levels of stimulating excitement and intimacy to a relationship. It is based on trust, self and mutual knowledge, and a willingness to give and receive pleasure.


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