The Sexual Double Standard

The sexual double standard is the most obvious division between the sexes when it comes to our appreciation of sexual pleasure and frequency.

As sexual beings we must desire sex to continue our species. Males and females are needed to create offspring. Without opposites participating, the yin and yang of sexual relationships, as it were, there can be no creation. So, in that sense, both sexes must pursue sex as a natural biological necessity.

Rather than admit our need as equals, societies cast a negative connotation on the woman’s desire and a positive spin on the male’s need. This double standard reeks of male-dominated control that conspires to make us believe that women are secondary to men.

In other words, men are supposed to like sex and women are supposed to pretend they don’t. If in deed she enjoys sex like any other appetite, to be fulfilled and satisfied, she is not viewed as the virile catch. Rather, because of the sexual double standard, her appreciation of her sexual appetite is actually a mark against her character.

This particular attitude which has manifested over the centuries stems from the religious texts in our lives. Then, like now, men wanted to control our sex drive via their interpretation of God’s will. By deeming our needs and passions, without check, as animalistic, our desire for sex had to be limited or it would lead to the soul’s degradation.

Consider, if you will, the source of this interpretation--men who had relinquished their sexuality. By writing sex off as an evil necessity, they became the self-appointed conscience of our sexuality. Their celibacy had to have influenced their interpretation of our sexual needs, and dare I say, their interpretation was as extreme as their personal life-choice.

Archaic ideas do not even allow for women to admit, let alone express, their desire for sexual pleasure. Seeking pleasure has been the male’s domain. She is merely there to submit to his will. Only when both males and females can come together to give equally to one another, sexually and otherwise, will the sexual double standard cease to exist.

Throughout the centuries, the words and intentions of these texts have been translated by changing societal attitudes. Recently, technology and science have changed our understanding of the body’s potential. With this new found knowledge we can abandon our prejudice and start making informed choices while in the pursuit of pleasure.

Men pursue their sexual appetites as an expression of their life force, or an ego gone awry. Names such as Don Juan and Valentino are synonymous with great passion and appreciation of lovemaking as an art form. The more conquests he enjoys, the more his sexual persona matures and expands.

For a woman to ever admit, then or even today, that she has a similar mindset as the great Don Juan or Valentino, her reputation would not be viewed as something spectacular, but rather as loose and immoral. With the double standard, sexual prowess and pleasure are the man’s domain. The woman who knows as much as a man, knows too much. Instead of being viewed as a great lover, she is a threat to his ego and abilities.

The sexual double standard casts experienced women as less desirable for the long term relationship. Men may want to use her because she’s seen as an undiscerning lover. But when sizing up a male for a lifetime of sexual satisfaction, we judge his abilities on the number of partners he’s had. The greater the number, the greater our expectations that his techniques will be seasoned, sexy, satisfying and desirable for both of them.

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