Marital sexuality has gotten a bad reputation over the centuries. During courtship we are driven by passion for the object of our desire that is just beyond our reach. After marriage, the passion diminishes. Could it be that the longer you’re married to the same person, the less desire you may have for them sexually? This may be a case of inhibited sexual desire, or it just may be that the thrill of the hunt is gone and familiarity breeds predictability.
You shouldn’t have to hypnotize your lover to both want sex simultaneously, nor should you have to read the entire Kama Sutra and practice lots of lovemaking techniques to increase libido. But you have to remember that the animal magnetism that drew you together is like a flame that needs fuel and to be fanned regularly. The initial attractants of pheromones, aphrodisiacs, and sensual kissing are not always going to be enough to keep that flame of marital sexuality hot for the long run. Sometimes we have to shake things up! We have to use our sexual creativity. We have to change the approach, and by changing the approach, change the direction of our actions.
Humans have not shown themselves to be monogamous by nature. Under the constraints of work, household chores, and eventually children, making love loses its priority within the relationship, and when that happens, intimacy suffers.
Since it is not our nature to be with one person for our entire life, it’s going to take a bit of effort to prolong pleasure for a lifetime, but with a sense of fun and adventure, it can be the most fulfilling ‘task’ we ever undertake.
Familiarity and exhaustion are the antitheses to orgasm pleasure. Neither is nudity unto itself enough to get aroused, especially for women. With the lubricant, marital aids and the blindfold at the ready, it’s time for the two of you to take a sensual bath and thus, take the pressure of performance off.
When each partner expects nothing, they can’t be disappointed. The best relationship sex advice for marital sexuality is to come with no expectations, only with the feelings of gratitude for your partner. Your loving partner is your best friend.
Like two youngsters in a proverbial sensual sandbox, come together with an open heart; enjoy the five senses as the guide to pleasure for the entire organism, not just the genitals. And keep loving sex alive by entertaining sensual thoughts daily so that the sensual energy between you will be a fire that will never burn out.
Understanding that we are easily bored within the monogamous relationship, it’s a good idea to work with your partner to take care of the minutiae of life. If we rely heavily on one partner to get it all done, we can only expect that they’ll be exhausted by the end of the day. Arousal is something that will happen more easily when we are truly relaxed.
If our partner shows through their actions that they are as committed to keeping sacred loving in the relationship by sharing the load, we are more likely to become a pleasure seeker ourselves, knowing full well that the passionate kiss can lead to pure pleasure for both.