As the female member of a sensual couple, I bought a Love Swing about ten years ago. Suspended above my lover, feeling weightless, being positioned in a multitude of ways, the pleasures would be divine while transforming our functional sanctuary into a sensual bedroom.
I had excitedly discussed with my husband about my plan to add this to our sensual accessories. He had already started installing a sky light above our bed. It seemed the perfect time to include this sensual and erotic swing.
We discussed its installation. It would have to be able to hold both of us, although it’s usually just the woman seated in it. It needs a double beam. He was a master carpenter and his skills were unsurpassed.
Within a few days of the sky light’s installation, the Love Swing arrived. I was so excited. As soon as the UPS man handed it to me I tore it open like a kid at Christmas. Embracing it in my arms, I presented our new little joy to my husband.
“Well, here it is”, I proclaimed. “Do you think we’ll be able to use it tonight?”
Considering how excited we as a sensual couple had been about owning a Love Swing, his response was less than excited.
Suddenly he walked towards the attic. Had the double beam been installed during the sky light’s construction, the Love Swing’s installation would’ve been easy. But now, it just meant aggravation.
As he contemplated the task ahead, he started to grumble and curse under his breath. He even slammed a couple of doors. Hearing his frustration, I asked him if he was talking to me. “No I’m not. I’m talking to myself.”
“I don’t think so”, I retorted.
“I’m not talking to you”, he snapped back.
“Well, I’m the only other person here, and I hear you talking, so even though you won’t admit it, you’re talking for my benefit. You want me to hear what you’re saying. And if you’re not talking to me, you’re certainly talking about me.”
He didn’t want to hear anymore. He continued to grumble until I couldn’t stand it anymore.
“Look dear, this is just an toy. It is meant for our sexual enjoyment and pleasure. For the sensual couple, it is a sensual and exciting tool to accessorize our boudoir and encourage sexual creativity.
It is not the be-all or end-all of our relationship, or a matter of life and death. If we don’t use it, fine. I’ll be a little disappointed, but I’ll get over it.
I bought it to do product research, and because for me it is a legal tax deduction. It’s supposed to be fun, and it would’ve been if you’d put the double beam in. If you don’t want this I’ll sell it to some lucky customer who actually does.”
He sat there, looking down, lost in thought. I continued. “I thought we agreed. Didn’t you believe I’d buy a Love swing? Why wouldn’t I? My business is erotica, for goodness’ sake.
“I want the swing, too,” he offered, half-heartedly. “I don’t know why I didn’t instruct the roofers to put in the double beam during the sky light construction. Damn. It would’ve been so much easier…”
His voice trailed off, and we let the subject drop.
The next day my hubby came home with a fourteen foot beam. He carried it to the upstairs hallway. The closet on the immediate left led to the attic. We were able to get about eight feet of beam into the attic before it hit the roof. Still, there was six feet of beam left in the hallway.
While I bent the one end away from the roof, Bruce powerfully whacked the other end to push the beam through the tight space. I never saw that beam again, but that night I saw my husband testing the ceiling hook he’d put in it. He used a rope instead of the Love Swing to test the weight. “Look at me”, he sang, hanging from the rope, “We’re a sensual couple. Let’s swing.”